I am exhausted ,but relaxed and calm . Everything went very well today. I had one of those shiny days with a big smile on my lips. Nothing to be worried about out there, just need to heal inside.I am practicing to stop blaming myself and be a better parent to my inner child. We had a thanksgiving feast in kindergarten , the food was not remarkable but I really enjoyed it. Everthing with these sweet kids is a pleasure . spending time with them makes me feel like a 5 year old again.… happy and excited about small things, and that’s the best thing about working at a school. “C” and me are working on our relationship very hard. Not easy from neither side. Ok time to go to the kitchen and make something for dinner.

Cheers.

gloomy s

Even walking outside didn’t make me feel any better. I am missing something and it must be male company. I want cuddling, warm cuddles that don’t have anything to do with sex. I called Hatch 5 minutes ago , just wanted to ask about puppy and tell him how much I am missing puppy. I had one of those clear dreams last night, puppy was there, I was patting him and he was licking my face. I felt his warm and smooth body and it felt so good. Nobody takes me seriously, I am really missing him badly..
It is Sunday evening and gloomy as usual. I making some cranberry sauce for Thanksgiving dinner and also chicken for tomorrow . Sonny is watching Tv. Everything is peaceful and at the same time empty. I need love. I need a romantic love.

sunny day

This is Friday morning. After a long time, I woke up refreshed having 8 hours deep sleep, thanks to my herbal tea and thanks to my sleeping pills( just half of it). It is 8:53, I could be sleeping at least for 1more hour, but today is the last day of church and they are serving thanksgiving lunch. I don’t care about foods that much especially when it comes to turkey, I hate it. Just don’t want to miss the chance to say goodbye to everyone. Spending time with those people was great for a period of time but I doubt I’ll be back for the next semester. I need something new, something more exciting. Ok, time is running out, need to take a shower and make my hair .It is sunny outside, lets wish to have a sunny day inside too.

Second post

Noting specific, Just having the last conversation with myself while my calming herbal tea is getting ready to drink. Time passes so quickly, looking at those colored numbers posted above the Kindergarten door, I found out that Just 143 days of the school year are left. Those numbers come in a pattern same as the days of our lives.…. Have you ever noticed that how human being is passionate about counting? It always has been an exciting part of our lives . Counting our money, days, year, friends, even stars…48 days ago I moved in here.

Good night